Yes. I. Can.

A little twist on the Yes.We.Can. phrase that seems to be popping up everywhere as a way of empowerment. By everywhere I mean Jane Gooddall's lips at We Day Van and on a poster in the UVic Access Office. So it looks like it can be done. Surviving classes. Studying often and well. Attending a club meeting. Getting a workout in. All while remaining on campus all day, and packing enough to not go hungry or insane.

The only downer was having to call Brit to pick me up from the bus stop, where I was freezing in my gym t-shirt and shorts, waiting for the bus that would inevitably be 20 minutes late. A colossal waste of an hour, well, not really. I studied some more.

Because I had no pockets on my sweat-drenched, and thus freezing, t-shirt, I used my shoes to transport my iPod, flashcards, and muffin (eww, I know - it was wrapped well ok!). I guarded them with my life.

The Verdict

Remeber way over a month ago when I "sprained" that pinky? First, I was told at Health Services that it was just a sprain that would take several weeks to heal and that I would no longer need to tape it. Three weeks later, I was seen by another two doctors in one session, as my poor little pinky was rather swollen and obviously crooked (not so good for progress). I was given the go ahead for an x-ray which brought me to today.
Apparently, I had broken my finger, but it has healed incredibly well given the circumstances. Now I have a beatiful copy of the x-ray to study my bone modification section of anatomy with.
It's probably far too late to file an incident report at work, now that I finally know what really happened to me. I'm just thankful I did not have to get the little digit reset. Not the kind of painful study I had in mind to follow the ones I have already subjected myself to so far.

My cafe mocha and sudden overt-alertness may actually get me through my cramming for a midterm tomorrow. I do not know how I managed to be like this last year while rowing. I also don't know what I'm trying to prove here at university. I'm certainly not just along for the ride. This has got to be meant for something.

Day of Unrest

I believe the trend with me is that I only take a nap once a week. It is a one hour nap. And it occurs on Saturday sometime between noon and 5pm. I have easily let my friends convince me that Friday night and Saturday must NOT be days of homework.

So today is my day of unrest. And it starts when I sign-off. Somehow I must attempt to do a bit of everything in every course today. But the priorities will be those with midterms and pertinent labs, which narrows it down to 4 courses of 6.

So remain uninterested in how my day may unfold here. There will be a trip back to Inner Harbour to find a birthday present for my mom, maybe pick up those boots I eyed yesterday, and see if my favourite Craft Market has not closed up for the fall yet.

Otherwise, here's some pics of Beacon Hill Park, where I had an awesome , healthy picnic with my volunteer companion yesterday. The last time I was in this exact area was my first time taking the bus last year from downtown home. I went the wrong way, then got lost. At Beacon Hill.

I've also decided that I actually take most meats medium, not medium rare as I had thought. It was not you, The Keg, it was me this time.

Just Another Lab Rat

I participated in another lab study again. Subject 12 is my title. However, this time it was not invasive - no muscle taken from my quads that I will never get back. No scars to remember the process by, only a long-sleeve tee from the RehabNeuroLab at UVic.
It was a success. Certainly uncomfortable at times; time really does seem to stand still over 7 minute intervals where every second is calculated and punctuated by nerve stimulation of both of your soleus' (the muscle running underneath your gastrocnemeus, the calf).
My advice: probably not a good idea to go and attempt hot yoga later in the day after your leg muscles have been overstimulated for 40 minutes. Don't be surprised when your legs fail you.

The many things, like this study, that I have been getting myself into and putting myself through over my time as an undergrad. certainly characterize my attribute of being a wanderer.
But I'm really feeling the pressure and angst now to figure myself out. Who do I want to be? Where I am going? Because my life right now has a very unknown path. I have no idea what I'm setting myself up for. And although it should be exciting to let everything fall where it may, I cannot shake the senses of doubt and failure that certain individuals have been throwing my way.

I also can't help but feel that I really am "getting older" now, that life with all its inconsistencies, let-downs, anguish, and brutality is starting to rear its head. Friends moving. Friends dying. Friends lost. Tough love. Grudges. Enemies. Why? I'm learning how to deal.

Today We Change the World

Yes, it is not even the break of dawn yet but I am sitting here in the dark so as not to wake up my cousin Ate Laura's best friend Laura. Yes, you may have to read that last portion again to wrap your head around it. How is it that people are not only drawn to individuals that are so much like them, but also have the same name too?
I purposely (although I did bring it) did not do homework during the retreat this past weekend because it was intended to be a time of spiritual reflection (which homework does not achieve, not at all).
Thus, my 4a.m. wake up so that I can continue with the campaign of completing my homework at awkward hours since there are no other options for me right now with my busy weekend. This is the first time this month I have actually been successful with getting up within the minute after wake-up and doing exactly what I intended, so bravo for me today.
In 50 minutes I walk out this door and bus to the GM Place, where 16,000 students (and likely more) will attend WeDay Vancouver planned by Free the Children. This is one of the groups I wish I had been a part of in high school - children helping other children through education. I will be selling WeStyle and Free the Children books and CD's today to youth who could educate ME about all the FTC and W2M does. I may walk away from this event more inspired by their commitment and passion for change, perhaps even more inspired by the music and messages their honorable guests will have to give. I hope that these youth are the ones "the world has been waiting for." I also hope that it's not too late for me to be the same (perhaps I can do better now that I am older and getting better at knowing what I want and can be passionate about).

My final comment, my highlight of last night (aside from Purple Yam Gelato at Casa Gelato, Vancouver....mmm, delicious):
being 30m away from Jason Mraz during his soundcheck. Although he was under the weather and could not sing everything, he was just as into his music as he was at his concert last month. Only I could see without looking at a screen the expression. It really was artistry to the core.
Of course these are the moments where you wish you had your real camera (not the camera-phone, which I did try to attempt taking video with, but deleted of my own ineptness with my own phone -security will be happy). But I dare you to take those moments to really experience all there is when you are somewhere outside of your norm - don't take pictures, be in the moment and see what that does for you, instead of experiencing it through your pictures when you get home.
And my final comment to my final comment:
It's pretty awesome to now be going to school across the country, living in a city that is much like the hometown in that it is so cute, green, artsy and hippie-like, and is also so close to a major city - Vancouver. I trade Van for T.O., and T.O. for Van whenever I come and go, and if it is over the right period of time, I can have the opportunity to check out people and events twice over. For example, Jason Mraz Gratitude Cafe Tour last month in T.O., and now soundcheck last night in Van. (I would have been happy just seeing his performance from behind the curtain in the 300 level today). I never thought I'd be able to do his Dynamo of Volition dance (real simple, the everyday American and Canadian can master his three awesome moves) under his leadership again, but I guess I shouldn't live in such doubt.
The countdown of this likely exhausting day begins. And I won't be surprised if it continues into tomorrow with ferry rides and homework in every form.

My Retreat to Thetis Island (not the lake in Victoria, THE island)

I just want to set things straight before anyone reads on with this. I went to Thetis Island, the Thetis that takes a ferry from Horseshoe Bay to get to, not the Thetis that you miss when you blink along the Trans-Canada, barely outside of Victoria. Ok? Ok.

I got myself into and out of a lot of things this week. Global Medical Brigades. Neuroscience study. ASL classes. NO chem lab. Those would be the highlights.

I would not say that I'm being random right now. I'm simply allowing myself the liberty to actually do many of the things that my former over-acheiving self would have been interested in. And although it makes me seem wayward and absent-minded, it's very much where I am at with myself right now.

I'm beginning to think more and more these days that I initially came to B.C. for the wrong reasons, but that I was meant to find my way here and stay for a while.

So I went on a spiritual retreat with UVic's Catholic Student Association. Comparable to Bible School for those not of the religious nature. Everything always seems to exceed my expectations here, and this was no exception. Food was great. People were awesome. Weather a little unpredictable, but scenery cozy and amazing - look at the pics in wonderment, just as I did in the real physical space.

Still accident prone this month. Cut my knee open and grazed the whole lateral side of my right shin playing soccer. But all in good fun. I really do love sprinting- so perhaps that's the way I'll train with cardio.

Started reading my Green Bible and Three Cups of Tea. I'm very much into learning more about sustainable living and humanitarianism. I hope this is not some tree-hugging phase I'm going through because this could really direct how I complete my time in academia and attempt to direct my future.

It appears that I have forgotten most of the little filipino I actually know. I couldn't remember the Hail Mary for our rosary in different languages. Thus, we had no filipino representation. Forgive me.

Beachcomber

That is what I have become. It's simple, although you tend to forget where you are and why you really came out to the shore - the view of the ocean, the mountains! I end up looking down and not really ahead most of the time, which is not the way I lead...

I have discovered Wii Fit and I love it. Not exactly a way to max out but great for a day forced indoors, and especially for this place, where the ocean IS my background.

But I must return to my duties on the island. School, work, volunteering, (rowing)....? But I have plenty of enough there as well, especially with all of the stuff I have accumulated new AND second hand over here avec the Bittles.

When I finally have a real place of my own I must have a garden (and this is after I've mastered that cooking thing). Produce in your own backyard - convenient and makes meals interesting and flavourful I'm sure.

Miss Bella here is currently singing to my feet - their budgie that is more spoiled than most beautiful babies and more obedient and lively than a dog.

A wonderful and rare find in a pet.

I hope to come across some seal again, like the three I just caught hopping into the water as I reached the rocks I had to climb over due to the tide. They were a curious bunch - bobbing up every couple yards to stare at me again and again. But eventually it was time to walk away and not look back - leaving them behind until I visit Powell River again.